A Relationship Meant to Refine

I was not single very long. I got married young and have been within its bounds for eight years. I don't presume to know about the hardships and trials that accompany living life as a single adult. I am sure that as a single person God uses methods to stretch and grow you to which I am unfamiliar. I am not trying to make light of the road that many of you are on, I just wanted to share some experiences from my own journey and the stretching that also takes place from this perspective.

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Marriage is one long refining fire. I can think of no other relationship where my sins and flaws would be so nakedly displayed to another person. My husband sees my good days, my bad days, my sunshine, and my grumpiness. Not only that, but he knows me so well that he can predict what circumstances will make me grumpy. He witnesses my moments of hypocrisy, selfishness, greed, and jealousy. And he is usually the victim of my angry tongue. I may be able to hide these horrible aspects from other people and put my best face forward, but I can't from him.

The reason this forced honesty becomes a refining fire is because God uses marriage to shine on those dark corners of my heart. Thankfully, my husband refuses to rollover when my flesh so clearly comes to surface. He speaks God's truth to me and shows me that my actions are not lining up with His word. And I do the same for him. It's definitely not easy, but so beautiful to look back and see the ways we are being refined since getting married. Sometimes a painful process, but as the grit is being chipped away, how could we expect a quick-fix?

You see, marriage is amazing and wonderful, just like you have heard. But it is not an easy, fairy tale-like wonderland. It is determined perseverance that makes it beautiful. The decision to love unselfishly when (not if) it gets hard. That is the love that bonds and grows. That is a marriage that makes a sweet offering to God.