Maude: Since Lizzi isn't able to make it and it is just going to be the two of us I thought it would be fun to talk about being Army wives. Sound good?
Esther: that sounds good
Maude: This is mostly to do with deployments since that is definitely the worst/most life-affecting part of being a military wife.
How long has your husband been gone for?
Esther: the longest at one time?
Maude: My husband was away half of the first seven years of marriage but most of that was training
Esther: 7 1/2 months (since we have been married that is)
Maude: He deployed twice in our marriage
The first time (when we were without kids) was only 2 months
The second time was for around 5 months with a newborn baby
Esther: no fun!
Maude: You know!
Esther: I hate getting to have a sweet baby and he is not around
Maude: How old was Jude when your husband deployed?
Esther: 5 months old
Maude: My son was 1 month old when he left.
Esther: He came back a few weeks after his first birthday.
Maude: What was that time like for you?
Esther: hard.
Maude: Agreed.
Esther: I felt like he was missing out on so much.
Maude: It is hard to see him missing the "firsts."
Esther: especially once you add a kid to the equation
YES!
sitting up, crawling, teeth, WALKING
first words
he missed it all
Maude: Exactly, the first deployment (which was short) wasn't half as hard because I just went to Eastern Europe for an extended stay and he did what he needed to do.
But with the extra responsibility and blessing of a child you really want your husband there.
Esther: You begin to feel like a single parent
Maude: You are a geographic single parent
Esther: it makes for quite a bit of responsibility
not only is he missing out but you are missing him being able to help out!
Maude: I remember one night when Milton was sick and not able to breath laying flat I sat up all night with him, worrying over his breathing all by myself. I didn't have him to say, "Do you think he sounds okay?" The scariest thing is having a sick child.
Esther: Agree!
or if you get sick!
Maude: And you feel much more uncertainty when you can't get a second opinion
Esther: I remember that was one of my biggest fears getting sick myslef
Maude: Very true.
Esther: I did end up and get sick once during his whole deployment but luckily I was staying with Mom at the time (somehow I don't feel very bad having my Mom watch my kid while I puke and sleep the day away)
I would feel bad if anyone else (aside from my husband) was helping out
so I was very glad to be at her house
Maude: I did feel bad when Mom (or anyone else) helped. That made it more difficult for me. I should have just gotten over it!
I hate to feel like a bother to someone else
Not that anyone did anything to make me fee that way - that is just how I always feel!
Esther: But, I agree one of the things I missed most about having "Daddy" around was just his opinion on those day to day things. The things I wouldn't think to mention to him if we talked that day or wouldn't want to bother him with
That does make it extra hard!
Maude: But thank the Lord for technology today!!!
Esther: I think Mom was just about the only person I wouldn't feel bad having help me out.
Maude: Can you imagine WW2?
When you received a letter months later?
Esther: I cannot imagine how hard it would be!
that would be so difficult
Maude: And they were gone for SEVERAL years straight?
Esther: I hand it to those women, men and families
Maude: Me too.
What about deployment do you think is a positive?
Are you stumped??!
Haha!
Esther: hahah
I honestly think (now looking back) it has been a very good thing for our marriage
our communication, understanding one another, extending grace and forgiveness
I don't know if I would have said that in the midst of it though!
Maude: True. I also think we are a LOT less likely to take one another for granted.
Even for decades into the future
I appreciate every single day that I see my husband - something not all wives eleven years into their marriage can say.
Esther: So true! I definitely do NOT take for granted being able to wake up beside my husband each morning
such a blessing!
Maude: But I agree, Esther, our communication is much better than many other couples we know. A lot of that probably stems from the fact that we just had to talk or write a lot.
And that there were times when we couldn't.
Esther: We learned to get to the "heart of an issue" rather than ignore or sweep it under the rug
we didn't know how often, what privacy, or how long we would be able to talk/communicate we had to make the most of the moments we got
Maude: Exactly. But thank the Lord it is over!! Right?
Esther: YES! I am glad I am writing this all in past tense
:)
Maude: Final question:
What is the best thing(s) about him being home?
Esther: that is tough.
everything
I am still even enjoying being able to argue in person!
haha
well... I don't know if that is true!
Maude: Haha! True!!
It is!
Esther: eye contact
Honestly, I don't think anything makes my heart happier than to see him playing with our son
Maude: I am a very independent, capable woman but, for me, it is nice not to have to be all the time.
It is nice to be able to bear each other's burdens
Esther: I agree!
Maude: To be a team again
Esther: As it is meant to be
Maude: It is just too hard to do it all by yourself (poor single moms!!)
Esther: It is weird with him gone it is creepy how I began to feel like a single woman
I really don't know how single Moms do it!
Maude: There is a very good reason God made husbands and fathers. They have a VERY important role.
Esther: It made me appreciate them so much more
Maude: Both in my life and in my childrens' lives
Esther: Yes they are!
Maude: I agree with you Esther. Seeing my husband play with our kids is about the sweetest thing in the world
I am so thankful he can know them and they can know him.
Maude: Mine is out of the Army now! Whoohoo!!!!!
It is very nice!
Esther: :)
I am jealous
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