Foundational Bonding

Children of the same family, the same blood, with the same first associations and habits, have some means of enjoyment in their power, which no subsequent connections can supply... ~Jane Austen, Mansfield Park, 1814


Sometimes I feel bad for the potential spouses as they get to know our family when they are dating one of the siblings. I mean, it is important and wonderful for them to get to know the family and grow comfortable within the relationships, but doing so means that at times they will need behaviors and stories explained to them. I know it is like this within every family because every family has their own history and memories together that no one else was privy to at the time. It is why the sibling relationship is foundational to who you become as an adult. The experiences that brothers and sisters take part in together remain with them for a lifetime. It is because of this that the introductory process can be so grueling for a boyfriend or girlfriend as they familiarize themselves with the family's quirks and inside jokes. And while a husband or wife always take precedence (as they should!) and have a closer-knit bond than blood can supply, the unique role that siblings play in a person's life is unable to be replicated.