another birthday apart

We have been married for two years and a couple for over four years. You have grown four years older and still, we have not spent one of your birthday's together. This year is no different.  I have been doing some calculating and it would seem we have spent about 15 months of our four years of being a couple together (give or take a little). We once lived with a country between us and now we sit with the world between us.

Sometimes I think we must seem to have such an odd relationship. I have still spent more time with your family without you being here than I have with you around, and we have almost spent as many nights apart in our marriage as we have together... but not quite.  We do silly things like have a bigger celebration for our engagement anniversary than we do for our wedding anniversary because we have always managed to be together on that day.   I say I am excited for us to be "normal" but that is such a relative term. I am really just excited for you to be around.  Hopefully next year we can be together for all of our birthday's and holidays; but if we are not, that is okay.  It is never my preference to be apart, but our marriage is not held together by how many things we celebrate together or even how much time we spend together.  It stretches much deeper than all those things.  Commitment, love, trust, and trusting in a God who is capable of holding the entire Universe together- how can we doubt him sustaining us?  

If you were here today I would bake you a nice cake... but it would most likely end up burnt anyhow, I would hang up a "happy birthday" banner that would not look very good (you know how good my attempt of "cute" writing turns out), I would sing you "happy birthday" (I know how much you love that!) Jude would do a birthday "dance" for you (okay, so this is a legitimate thing to miss... can't see how that would turn out bad).  I would make a big deal out of your birthday, you would go along with it smiling and shaking your head the whole time.  Fun as those things are it is not really those little fun things that matter about a birthday. It is taking time to see what a gift life is; your life.  Even though a whole world is between us, I am still celebrating your birthday. I know what a gift your life is because you are such a gift to me. What joy living life beside you brings me.

 This year I cannot sing you the "happy birthday" song because I will not hear your voice again until you call me and tell me you are in the same country as I am; one step closer to home.  Consider this your song.  Happy birthday.