Sister Chat About Being Mothers of Toddlers/Babies

Maude: This week I wanted to talk about being mothers of toddlers/babies since we are all there right now.

Lizzi: We sure are!

(We were just in the potty as you typed that, actually...)

Haha!

Maude: First, let's start with where you are at in your parenting.

Esther: I am trying to catch my diaperless little boy and stick a diaper on him

Maude: haha! For me, my little girl is entering her "terrible twos."

Esther: My son is a day away from being 16 months

lots of climbing, falling, and starting talking

Lizzi: I have an almost 3 year old, and a just-turned one year old

Maude: We will soon be starting the battle to end thumb-sucking with my little boy...

Lizzi: I've heard from adults who used to be thumb suckers that they all had to stop on their own...

They said they just had to get embarrassed enough

Some even when they were 6 or 7!

Maude: Yeah, some have told me it wasn't until college!!!

Lizzi: Wow! They said their parents tried everything..

Maude: I don't expect that much trouble - he doesn't do it all the time like some kids do but I do want to make an effort so he knows he is supposed to stop. If he doesn't right away it isn't the end of the world but I don't want my lack of action to be the cause of teeth problems later.

Lizzi: I guess its such a comfort thing

Yeah, that's tough

Maude: What are you guys dealing with right now?

Or about to start?

Lizzi: Our one-year old is (and has been for a long time) a screamer

So we are dealing with that and how to handle it

Maude: Oh dear! That would be hard

Lizzi: It is shrieking, and now he thinks it is sooo funny

And sometimes big brother joins in then too

Maude: uh-oh. Lol

Esther: Well, my little one still struggles with sleeping well at night.

Lizzi: That's so hard!

Esther: He also truly is scary about jumping off of beds, couches, etc.

Maude: Goodness, Es! That is rough!

Esther: just dives off and lands on his head half the time

Maude: Remember, he is a boy though.

Lizzi: They have no fear at that age

Esther: yeah, he doesn't care but my heart stops every time

I thought we were going to the ER yesterday

Maude: That is awful!

Lizzi: Oh dear!

Esther: but he just got up and kept playing (it looked like a really bad fall to me!)

Maude: He's tough

Esther: his body flipped over his head and his neck was bent back

Lizzi: oh my!

Esther: sometimes I wonder if he doesn't feel pain (no joke!)

Maude: Yeah, we've had some of those. Very scary.

Lizzi: We have been trying to teach the "legs down" approach to getting down, but it takes awhile to stick, ya know?

Esther: I worked so hard to teach that Liz! and he did really great for awhile until Daddy taught him to "jump into my arms" and Bug thought he could do that all the time even when Daddy isn't there to catch him

Lizzi: uh oh...

Esther: now he thinks jumping and slamming into the ground is the coolest thing ever! that child is going to give me a heart attack

Maude: What are some successes you have had in your parenting so far?

Esther: umm... we haven't ended up in the ER do to a fall

(just joking!)

Maude: Well, that's good! A really big one for me is how well my two play together and get along. How protective they are about each other (even against us if we are discipling) and how well they take care of each other. And so affectionate – I really like that.

Lizzi: That is very awesome, Maude.

You know what makes me happiest? When I know a biblical truth is sinking in! A few weeks ago I was outside with my one year old and was saying, "Thankyou, God, for the sky... for the clouds... etc" and he folded his hands right away. I loved that.

Esther: wait, your one year old? is he talking that well?

Lizzi: No! I was saying it.

He just folded his hands!

Esther: Ooh! gotcha

Maude: haha! Ya'll are funny!

Esther: that is adorable

when we pray together we hold hands as a family and little man is (beginning) to not fight us so much when we grab his hand to pray.

Lizzi: That is so cute, Es! I can just see his chubby little hands holding on!

Esther: Sometimes he even grabs our hands!

Maude: Sweet.

Esther: My little one is also good about holding my hand when we are out in public, walking to class on Sunday or walking out in the parking lot.

I know that seems little but it took awhile to make this happen!

Lizzi: :)

Maude: It is both the little and the big successes that add up to making them the person they become.

Esther: So true

Maude: What are some challenges that you have faced?

For me it was potty-training my little boy!!!

I NEVER thought he would be interested!

We tried and tried to no avail.

Lizzi: And that is so much work FOR YOU!

Maude: Yeah but he was WELL into 3 years old with no interest at all!!

We couldn't wait for high school graduation!

Lizzi: Haha!

Maude: Although I was thinking about it!

Esther: I think discipline is harder than I ever thought it would be. Especially at this age. I mean, what do you do with whining? Half the time he is just frustrated that he cannot express something to me. I don't want him to whine, but I also want to try and understand what he is expressing to me

Maude: I read somewhere that whining is natural and healthy at that age

Remember you have years to go

Lizzi: Yeah, discipline is tough

Maude: And that being too harsh on whining so young can cause some temper issues (don't know if it's true though...)

At the same time - I wasn't hard enough on Milton when he was 1 and had to deal with that for a couple of years

He is doing much better now and I am doing much better with Maeva so that is good

Esther: Yeah, I don't want him to think he whines and" Mom will do whatever to get me to stop" (because sometimes I feel that way!)

Maude: At our house, Es, our rule is "You don't get what you whine for." So if they whine at the store for something (which they don't) they will automatically not get it. But if they have a whiny voice as they try to explain something and are frustrated I try to get to the bottom of the issue before deciding if they need to be punished for whining - depending on their age.

But I find that I am not as strict as some parents because I do not want a super-obedient child. I just don't think that is healthy.

Lizzi: You don't want a super-obedient child?

Maude: Absolutely not!!!

Lizzi: Or, you don't want them to obey simply out of expectations rather than from the heart?

Obviously no kind parent would want a robot

But we do want our kids to choose obedience because it is healthy and good

Just curious to what your thoughts are..

Maude: I want them to learn the concepts not to obey to avoid punishment. I want them to do what is right because it is right not because it is what we told them to do. As they get older people in authority may tell them to do something that isn't right or that needs to be questioned and they need to be ready for that.

But, Lizzi, some people raise their kids to be robots whether they claim to want that or not.

Esther: Perfect obedience is what I would want from my child but perfect obedience only comes from Christ. I want a heart change for my child not a "behavior change". Behavior only creates little Pharisees. True change only comes when they see they are sinners and need Jesus.

Lizzi: That's right

Maude: But the only person worthy of obeying perfectly is Christ. Not us.

I think expecting them to obey us perfectly is arrogant and foolish

Esther: I agree Maude that I want them to do what is "right because it is right" and it is right because the Lord tells us

Maude: Now as toddlers obedience is different than with teenagers

Lizzi: And the Lord gives us as parents the authority to instill what is right to our children

Maude: I am merely saying what I want to prepare my kids for as teens and adults

Lizzi: That is true that we want them to actively know and stand for what is right as teens.

Esther: Of course they will not be able to obey perfectly. They're not perfect. I expect my child to disobey (he does a LOT) disobedience is a perfect opportunity to point him to Christ and show him the grace our Lord has given us

Maude: When raising my kids now we do talk about the importance of obedience because it teaches them to obey God later on but the emphasis is always on obeying God as the ultimate reason for obedience because God told children to obey their parents (my son has already memorized that one!)

Esther: I am agreeing with both you ladies (just in case I am not being clear)

Lizzi: Me too!

I don't feel like I am differing that much, am I?

We are very clear in our house that we obey because that is how we obey God

And while we are all imperfect and sin and disobey, we point to the love and grace of Christ as we discipline

and still feel it is necessary to focus on obedience (to Christ through parents) as toddlers because that is how they learn boundaries and will know what is right as teens

Maude: I doubt our parenting at this point is much different from yours but I do feel strongly that I want to raise kids that question and consider what they are told to do - even now. So many adults believe that something is right or wrong because that is what the law or others say but I do NOT want that from my kids.

So obedience is good but understanding right and wrong and doing right is much better.

So that is my emphasis.

Next question?

Lizzi: Okay! Sorry to side track us~! I was just curious about your comment.

Maude: No problem. What are the wishes of a mother of toddlers and babies?

I went out with a lady last night and she made a comment that agreed with what I have been thinking lately

My wish...To go to the bathroom by myself!!

Lizzi: Haha!

I sure get that, too!

It's been a looong time..!

Maude: My little girl is so motherly and she always asks if she can wipe me!!!

Lizzi: That is hilarious!!!

Maude: haha - not so funny at the time as I try to convince her of the difference between me changing her diaper and her wiping me! She does not see the difference at all!

Esther: to shower with out having someone slamming the bathroom door, or hopping in with me (clothes and all!)

Maude: oh dear!! haha!

Esther: going to coffee shops!

being able to read a novel in a few days (or read the day away!)

Maude: My husband let's me do that every now and then as it is my favourite way to relax! That is the best!

I love reading - especially nonstop!

Esther: me too!

Lizzi: Those are both good ones, Es.

I'm excited for the day when bedtime won't be a struggle and I can sneak downstairs in the morning without waking anyone up :)

Esther: I am happy I have a heavy sleeper!

Maude: Anything else?

Lizzi: I guess, in seriousness, my biggest wish would be that they would grow up to be desperately in love with Jesus

Completely abandoned to Him alone

Esther: Yes! And because of their love for Jesus they love others

and point them to Christ

Maude: It wasn't supposed to be a serious question, Lizzi!!!

Esther: Oops! leave it to Liz to turn it to a good heart question

Maude: You're just too serious sometimes!

Lizzi: I think that's why I am called a goody-two shoes. sorry, guys. :)

Maude: haha!

That is it, Liz, the very reason. Were you a pastor's kid? Because those Sunday School answers sure do roll off your tongue!! haha! Just kidding!

Lizzi: Haha!

Maude: One last wish then (on a lighter note!) - to be able to eat all of the food on your plate by yourself!

Esther: haha!

Lizzi: Oh, yes!

Esther: So true

Lizzi: It's never as appetizing unless it's on MY plate

Maude: Exactly.

Thanks for a lovely chat, ladies!

Lizzi: Thanks, Maude! Great topic!

Esther: This was fun

Maude: Moms always like talking about their babies!

Lizzi: yep :)