My man is HOME

It has finally come my husband is HOME! It always felt so far away but now it is here and I am
 overwhelmed with joy and excitement and a whole mix of emotions I do not think I would even know how to begin to describe.  I am sure I will have many stories to share about his returning but I will save that for another day.  Today I just want to look at where we have been this past year and be so thankful for where we are at.  In the days leading up to Andrew's homecoming I found myself looking over past things I had written right before he left. Let me share them with you.

I am reminded of Corrie ten Boom.  Before Corrie ten Boom was taken to a concentration camp in Germany she told her Father “I am not strong enough.”   He replied, “when you go to visit your Grandmother when do I give you the ticket?”  ”Right before I get on the train.” “Corrie,in the same way God is going to give you the strength you need… when you need it, you are not there yet.”  I am not there yet. His grace is sufficient."

I sit and read this 8 months after I wrote it.  So, much of what I wrote is true.  I saw my son crawl, walk, get his first teeth, and start to babble his first words all without my husband beside me enjoying it too! I had my days and nights when I was exhausted from taking care of our little boy alone but I was mainly just sad that Andrew was missing so much of our sons first year.  I am a little astounded that I did survive.  It really has nothing to do about my own strength but more about my perspective and really living in light of His grace.  God's grace is sufficient.  I think as Andrew and I look back in the upcoming weeks, months, and years at this long separation we will begin to see all the more clearly how God's grace was continually extended to us.   This last paragraph I wrote just days before he left.  I try not to run from hard things I try to see that there is almost always growth there if you will just let yourself grow.

" When I said “yes” to marrying Andrew I said “yes” to a soldier and all the “goodbyes” that come with that. 
Being apart makes being together all the sweeter. We do not take being together for granted, that is for sure.  
You always get a choice.  We can choose for this to hinder our marriage and our growth as a couple or we 
can choose to grow through it.  I do not want to get bitter, I do not want to stop living until Andrew gets 
home.  It will be hard, but hard things can be good things."


To be honest this deployment was hard, very hard. I would not wish separation on any two people who love each other.  But, because of this separation I know that I have begun to learn about love in a whole new way and just how selfless we are called to be in our love. It may not take every marriage to be separated to learn the things we have, but I know that God has a purpose in all things and so I trust that this temporary separation will allow us to have a stronger and more loving marriage.

"I am beginning to feel it in the pit of my stomach, that horrible I ache I get right before Andrew leaves for awhile.  It is getting so close I can now count the days until he is gone. Every morning when I wake up, I look over at him, and count one less day then yesterday to have him lying beside me. Bad idea.  I know what it feels like to not have him there.  I have learned to deal with the lonely nights, watching the minutes go by as I wait for his call, or the thousand times I think,this is nice, but it would be so much better if you were here. But this time it is different.  I do not want to see our baby crawl without you here, I don’t want him to sit without you here, I don’t want him to start walking and talking if you are not going to be here too. How am I to do this?  People tell me I am strong, but they do not see me, I am so very weak.   I am being daily moment by moment reminded of the truth found in 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. ¹⁰ That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”   Will I get my grace for the moment?