Each Friday we will post an entry in which the four of us will talk about different things. We hope that you enjoy getting to know us better.
Lizzi:Today I want us to talk about Love Languages. You are all familiar, right? The love languages talk about different ways that people express and receive love.
Katharine: Although I've never read the book
Esther: I have only read snippets of it
Maude: Neither have I, I don't think
Lizzi: There are five love languages and while people typically appreciate all of them,
there are usually 1 or 2 that fit them the most. I will name the five:
I would like us to guess the top 1 or 2 for each sister
Maude: Fun game
Lizzi: How about Maude first?
Maude: I love being the oldest.
Maude: I get to go first!
Katharine: Quality Time
Lizzi: Yeah, I would guess Quality time and Acts of Service
Esther: I am going to be different... Words of Encouragement?
Lizzi: What is it, Maude?
Maude: My first is (da-da-da-domm) Quality Time and my second is Acts of Service! Lizzi, you win!!! Good job!
Esther: I am impressed Liz!
Lizzi: Okay, on to Katharine...
Maude: Words of Encouragement and Quality Time, I think.
Esther: Gifts and Words of Encouragement (though maybe not in that order)
Maude: yeah... Gifts.... hmmm
Lizzi: I think Quality Time and Words of Encouragement
Katharine: Mine are Quality Time and Words of Encouragement. Good job ladies!!
Lizzi: Yes! I like this game!
Katharine: hahaha! You would Liz, since you're "winning"
Maude: That's so true!
Lizzi: For once!
Maude: Lizzi's new favourite game
Esther: Words of Encouragement and Acts of Service for Liz
Maude: Quality Time and Acts of Service for Lizzi
Katharine: Words of Encouragement and Acts of Service
Lizzi: How interesting. I think you each got one of them. I would say Words of Encouragement and Quality Time. Although now maybe I should reconsider Acts of Service...
Maude: You are the master of this game then
Katharine: Most definitely!!
Lizzi: Haha... I had more time to think about it than you all
Lizzi: OOPS!! Sorry, Esther!
Lizzi: I gots caught up in my own... talk about forgetting to show love!
Esther: The littlest is always forgotten
Lizzi: Yup. Sorry.
Katharine: always spoiled, you mean
Maude: It's harder to remember her when we can't hear her!
Maude: That is usually how we know she is around!
Maude: Not loud in a bad way!!
Esther: okay, I'll take that
Maude: It is completely true! You are vivacious - not annoying
Lizzi: I think she HAS to have her voice heard since she's youngest
Maude: Good point, Liz! Otherwise she would probably be mute because we are all plenty loud!
Esther: That is definitely true! I have to speak up to be heard, you know.
Katharine: For Es I would say - Gifts and Quality Time
Maude: I think Quality Time and Words of Encouragement
Lizzi: I think that Esther is Quality Time and Words of Encouragement
Esther: hmm... it is interesting to see what everyone has put. One of you got me spot on... who?
Maude: because Liz and I said the same thing, right?
Esther: Katharine indeed! Good job, Kat
Lizzi: Great job!
Esther: Quality Time and Gifts. I have just recently realized how much I love getting gifts. hahah
Maude: Interesting that none of us were Physical Touch, isn't it?
Katharine: I am (with my hubby!)
Maude: Oh dear, Katharine.
Katharine: that is a GOOD thing, Maude
Maude: But Es was the only Gifts
Esther: that is interesting
Lizzi: Can you all name/remember a time when someone showed love to you in your Love Language?
I remember for me: One birthday Mom bought a TON of birthday cards for me. She took me to get the mail and snuck in all the added birthday cards for me to open! A perfect gift for a "Words of Encouragement" girl
Maude: That is so sweet and thoughtful. I would love to be thoughtful like that!
Lizzi: It sure meant a lot
Esther: I remember once when our brother Paul was picking up some dinner for the "home dogs" (the family who still remained at home) he was going to Burger King but he remembered that I didn't like their french fries so he made a special trip to McDonalds just to get me fries I liked!
Katharine: Me and my husband both have Quality Time as one of our main "love languages". However, his is more like recreational quality time (doing something together) while mine is more sitting somewhere and talking quality time. He hates coffee but he made time to take me to a coffee shop to talk (or sit and listen to me, haha!) That meant so much
Paul is so sweet! What a good brother
Lizzi: Those are both really great examples
Maude: The New Year's Eve before my first child was born (2 days before he was due actually) my husband and I were invited to a New Year's Eve Party and it was cancelled at the last minute. I was upset because I hadn't been out to do anything for a while since I felt terrible during the pregnancy. My husband went out and got special provisions (expensive cheese and sparkling cider) and we had a slumber party. Talking and watching Pride and Prejudice
We stayed up late into the night and had our own party. It was so much fun!
Katharine: that is so sweet! and thoughtful
Maude: The long version of P&P of course! The only version!! He is a sweetie
Lizzi: That's great! How has thinking in terms of "love languages" enhanced your relationhip with your husbands?
Katharine: It has helped me to realize that when I don't feel like my husband is loving me, many times he is loving me in his love language
Lizzi: That's so true! What a great reminder
Katharine: and to try to love him in a way that speaks love to him, which can be hard because I think how I want to be loved makes the most sense!
Esther: It has been neat to see someone express love in a different way than I would sometimes think to.
Maude: His love languages are Words of Encouragement and Physical Touch. Not only are they both different from mine but they are opposite of what I feel comfortable doing. I am not a physical touch kind of person and I feel silly telling a grown man "Good job!" But over the years I've become a much better encourager and that has helped my mothering as well! And I am better about holding hands and scratching backs (etc.) than I would have been if I hadn't made an effort. That also helps with my kids who are both extremely affectionate.
Lizzi: I guess it helps to expand our love
Esther: I have loved seeing my husband "learn" me more and know how to best show me love according to how I receive it
Katharine: That's a good way of putting it, Liz. We are growing in how we love and receive love, within marriage
Esther: We should be continually learning how to love better: "love must be learned, again and again"
Lizzi: Very true, Esther.
Maude: It means so much more when my husband sits and talks with me because he is very much a doer-type. It kind of drives him crazy to just sit and talk but he does it for me which means so much
Katharine: I agree, Maude. Our fellas are similar when it comes to that!
Lizzi: Yeah, it helps to know what each other's love languages are because then we appreciate it so much more when they love us as we like best! And how about overflow into other relationships?
Esther: I think as you get to know anyone it is good to be watching and aware of how they express love so that you can love them in a way they know
Katharine: To me, it helps to be aware that others receive love differently than me
Esther: I agree Katharine
Katharine: and to try and love them that way, as Esther said
Lizzi: and to be aware that they may be expressing love to me in a way I might otherwise not have noticed
Esther: Everyone is different. It is so easy to be critical of people because they respond differently, but they are different people. We cannot expect them to love the same way
Maude: Most of my husband's family are gift people and when they buy what I see as extravagant gifts it is good to know why they do it - because that is how they feel and show their love.
Katharine: Good point, Liz. That's a good reminder, thanks Maude.
Lizzi: Great example, Maude! Well, that is all the questions I have. I think this has helped me!
Now I know more clearly what you all think when you love
Esther: Me too! I really enjoyed this conversation
Lizzi: And I can love you better! AND we all have quality time in common!
Esther: Isn't that interesting
Maude: So that's why we sit around and talk when we get together!!!
Esther: I wonder how much of that is due to our upbringing exactly!
Maude: Interesting point, Esther
Katharine: I think so
(Information taken from 'The five Love Languages', by Gary Chapman)
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