Friendship

C.S. Lewis in "The Four Loves" talks about friendship. He was a man known to be surrounded by deep friendships that he treasured. He was sad by the lack of deep friendships seen in the society around him. He writes of friendship in his book "The Four Loves" he says, " To the Ancients, Friendship seemed the happiest and most fully human of all loves; the crown of life and the school of virtue. The modern world in comparison, ignores it... How has this come about? The first and most obvious answer is that few value it because few experience it. And the possibility of of going through life without the experience of is rooted in the fact that separates friendship so sharply from both the other loves. Friendship is-in a sense not at all derogatory to it-the least natural of loves; the least instinctive, organic, biological, gregarious and necessary. It has least commerce with our nerves; there is nothing throaty about it; nothing that quickens the pulse or turns you red and pale. It is essentially between individuals; the moment two men become friends they have in some degree drawn apart from the herd. Without Eros none of us would have been begotten without Affection none of us would have been reared; but we can live and breed without Friendship. The species, biologically considered, has no need of it. The pack or herd-the community- may even dislike and mistrust it."

I have recently been contemplating friendship and what it means to be a friend. Why is it that far to often a person does not experience "real friendship"? And what on earth is "real friendship anyway? I have come to a few conclusions. I believe that when Jesus was on earth He displayed what "real friendship" looks like. Jesus had a close knit group of followers (the disciples) he displayed to us it is okay to have close friends (meaning that not everyone is going to be your close friend). Judas his betrayer was also one of Jesus's close friends; which teaches me to not only love my enemies but pursue them as a friend. I don't like the thought of being friends with my enemies, that is scary, it will grantee that I will get hurt. But, that is exactly the problem. People run from friendships because they don't want to get hurt. "Real friendship" by definition means getting hurt; that is just the reality. We are to, "carry one another's burden " the only way to do that is by being in each others lives, the nitty-gritty, seeing the pain and offering a listening ear, being wronged and extending grace as we have had grace extended to us. Another big problem with friendships (or lack there of) that I have seen sprung from my heart many a time is unhelpful expectations. It is so easy to heap expectations on people who think different from us. Expecting them to understand us, expecting them to remember my kids birthday and when they fail to meet our expectations the friendship falls apart. That is not the kind of friendship Christ displayed for us. After Peter denied him, he forgave him and extended friendship to him. I have been blessed by sweet friendships being formed in my life and thankful for the things I am learning along the way about Friendship.